One thing I've been doing a lot lately is dwelling on the past. And just in case you didn't know, this can be quite a depressing activity if done without expert supervision.
Don't get me wrong; while we all experience life's curveballs (or hospital passes if you will), I am actually happy to be where I am now in life. Maybe I'm not over-the-moon with certain current hardships, but if I'm being totally honest, I'm pretty happy to know the people I do, and to be related to the people I am, and to have been saved by the God that saved me. Not to mention Manchester United are still unbeaten this season right.
However, when people say that line, "Don't regret anything in your past, because it has made you who you are", well, I disagree. I think people who say this are missing the point of life. I used to think like that. I used to think that it's okay to not regret anything bad that may have happened to me (or because of me), because all my experiences have led me to be the man I am today right. Sounds good doesn't it?
But what about all the times God prompted me to share the gospel to a stranger and I didn't? I'm not gonna lie, I regret those times a lot. Maybe one of times, that person died the next day, and I was the last chance that person had to hear the Word. I have no doubt that when I die and leave this Earth, I will realize the true magnitude of my inaction.
What about all the people I've hurt? Sure, I'm the man I am today because of my past actions, but what about everyone else? Am I to be so selfish that I think my past is all okay because it made ME turn out okay, while totally disregarding the fact that maybe I've put people in much worse-off situations than they would have been if they'd never met me?
I dunno. There's no real message with this post, it's just me thinking out loud. Or, should I say, me thinking on monitor.
I just think it's selfish to say that I shouldn't regret certain actions just because "it has made me who I am". What if life's actually not just about me? What if the same thing that has "made me who I am" has also "made someone else doubt the love of Christ because some guy who was supposed to have the love of Christ broke their heart". Who am I to let myself off the hook so easily?
At least I know what Matt Thiessen thinks of this subject:
Cause I could spend my life just trying to sift through
What I could've done better but what good do what ifs do
I'd rather forget and not slow down
Than gather regret for the things I can't change now
If I become what I can't accept
Then resurrect the saint from within the wretch
Pour over me and wash my hands of it
It's the last 3 lines of these particular lyrics that I choose to focus on most. Then it is to be followed swiftly by doing everything to try and not make those mistakes again.
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