"It's just the way I am"

"It's just the way I am. I've always been like that."

I hate it when people say that to justify crappy behaviour. It's the most ridiculous thing in the world. Since when does that allow anyone to behave like an egg? If someone does something, and you react way too angrily, then saying "I've always been an angry person" doesn't let you off the hook. It means that you got issues, and you need to sort them, now. Not overnight of course, but the time to start the process should be the first time you realize you have a temper that is hurting others.

For me, something that I've always considered to be part of my personality is how anti social I am. I love being alone, whether or not I've got internet or sky or anything interesting. I'd rather sleep or write down my thoughts than hang out with other people. Especially large hangout groups. I've just never liked it. So I've always kept largely to myself. To those who know me well, I may seem outgoing or whatever, but it's because you're one of the few I've let into my life. But this must change.

Why?

Well, for one, I'm a christian. I have been commissioned to live my life as an example to others, an example of Christ's salvation. I have been called to spread the Gospel. I have been commanded to be the light in other peoples' lives who need to hear me. And what good is sitting alone in my house every day playing minesweeper? No good at all. Except that I'm getting really good at minesweeper. And organizing my iTunes library.

Not that I should be out every night making friends or anything. I am the way I am because God created me so, and maybe my constant desire to be alone is a part of the way God constructed me. But it still stands that anything that stands in the way of what God has clearly commanded me to do must either be removed, or changed to suit his purposes.

Maybe I should befriend those who have the same tendencies as me, and I could reach them in a way that no one else can. Maybe I should use my alone time to do meaningful things that still impact others in a good way. I dunno. Clearly I should be praying about this. But one thing I know for sure is that shutting myself away will do nothing to extend God's kingdom. So I must change this about me.

The second reason is my beautiful Amy. She's like, the opposite of me. She's way more friendly, likes hanging out with other people, and has more friends than me. And while most of the time she hangs with them by herself, there are times that we are invited to other peoples' houses or functions as a couple. And when she tells me about it, I usually say stuff like "but I just wanna hang out with you, not a billion others.". This is quite cruel I have come to realize. Because Amy knows how I am with people, and doesn't make me go to things unless she feels it's important that we attend. And the few times that she's asked, I've shrugged her off and made her go alone. Which is really crappy. So, even though it's "just how I am", it's not a good way to be.

Which is my point. "It's just the way I've been brought up" isn't good enough. If it's crappy behaviour, and we know it, then we should change it. Whatever your upbringing, culture, or personality is, anything that we do wrong is removable if we admit it and surrender it to God. He can then begin to cut away the things in our lives that made us like that. It could be situations, things that have happened to us that we forgot; anything. Once on the other side of the process, we can begin to minister to others, with a much better saying:

"Yeah, I used to be like that too, but then..."